Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
