does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
birth control should be required to get into college
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
