those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
