A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
