It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Vodka?
Forever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
