OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
