She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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