i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
