mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
