with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
