Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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