come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and she was petting her beer can
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
