dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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