It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
