apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize