Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
