i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
