I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
