they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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