First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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