Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
