It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
