We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
