My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
where are you?
Hypothermia
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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