I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
