she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
