i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
