I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
