he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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