hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
