I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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