let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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