he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Congratulations! We have a period
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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