She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
