I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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