He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
