Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
