either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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