Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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