Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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