We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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