I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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