Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
