Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
