i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
