Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize