I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
