Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
