I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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