It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
