And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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