Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
