No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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