So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
