He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dicks are not precious.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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