YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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