youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
