Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
